tibicen

My synagogue is being acquired [1] and this was the final nudge to find an alternative. This past Shabbat they cancelled our services in favor of the other place, so I went to Beth Shalom, which I last visited during Pesach. Beth Shalom is a large congregation, which is a little challenging for this introvert, but I assume that if I go there regularly I'll gradually meet people and maybe even be able to learn their names.

Their service is uplifting and pretty efficient. They're Conservative, so they include a lot of things that my current (Reform) congregation doesn't do, but it didn't make the service that much longer. I will need to practice the Hebrew in some unfamiliar sections so that I can sing the songs with them; I was kind of singing this time, hitting maybe one word in four and faking the rest. (I know how to read Hebrew; I'm just slow.)

I had not noticed that they had designated this week as Pride Shabbat until the rabbi spoke. I mean yes, I saw some pins and rainbow talitot and stuff, but I saw those the last time I was at Beth Shalom too, so that's just ordinary support/visibility stuff. And there'd been some signs outside, but I hadn't noticed dates. In other words, they integrated the already-welcome queer community into the Shabbat service, honoring people without replacing the whole service with a bunch of creative readings. (Temple Sinai's Pride Shabbat feels more like a poetry slam; Shabbat barely makes an appearance.) I haven't been to a bar or bat mitzvah at Beth Shalom yet, but I imagine it's the same idea there: celebrate together in the context of Shabbat. Conservative and of course Orthodox synagogues tend to prioritize the community, and Shabbat itself, integrating celebrations into the whole instead of carving them off as separate things as Reform is wont to do. It's refreshing.

They have a kiddush lunch every week, which is presumably the best way to meet and get to know people. During Sukkot I went there and ended up in a lunch conversation with another Babylon 5 fan who was explaining the show to a third person. (I haven't seen the fan again yet, alas.) This week I couldn't stay because we had a friend coming, but there'll be a next time and probably soon.

There was a passing comment about the senior rabbi's upcoming sabbatical. I don't know more than that, and I'll want to have a chat with him before, or as part of, joining there, but it's not urgent. There is also an associate rabbi who I like so far; I plan to soon start going to a weekly class he teaches. While exploring their web site I discovered that both rabbis have blogs, which I'm now subscribed to.

Beth Shalom, not unusually, does not publish their dues expectations; you need to have a conversation with someone. Large old congregations with large old buildings tend to have high dues, which I might not be able to afford, especially if they don't have the concept of an individual membership. It can be worked out I'm sure, but it's a little awkward and embarrassing to have that conversation, and I wish I had some data going into it. Oh well; we'll get there. The high holy days (the one time a year when this really matters) are not for a few months yet.

Rodef Shalom (the synagogue Temple Sinai cancelled services for) puts their services on YouTube, so I skimmed that service yesterday. I knew they were having a guest musician, Dan Nichols, as part of celebrating their rabbi's retirement. I knew from a past Dan Nichols visit that he leans toward creative songs and less liturgy (more of a concert than a service), but I was still surprised by what I saw. How do you have a Shabbat morning service that goes almost two hours and not do Kri'at Sh'ma or the T'filah?! By caring I am a minority in the Reform movement, I know, and while this is extreme, it's also a hint of where Rodef Sinai is going. It's time to be elsewhere.

[1] This is not how the leaders characterize it, but I have seen some of the sausage-making and I stand by this description.

About a year and a half ago, the president of my synagogue started a project to merge ours with another synagogue. We were supposed to be exploring other options for our future too, but the leaders were really only investigating this one path. Some of us members had concerns about both that path and how this was being done, but power imbalances are a thing, and yesterday there was a vote.

There've been plenty of irregularities, and also some maligning by leaders of dissenters, and at this point it feels like the damage has been done even if the deal ultimately falls through. I've lost faith in our leaders, am disappointed by the unnecessary discord and condescension, and am saddened by the drop in civility and goodwill affecting people I care about. It is possible for people to disagree constructively and work together to address those differences, but it doesn't feel like that happened here. To me this felt more like a conquest than democracy, but as a member of the minority I'm naturally biased.

Maybe this was the swift kick I've been needing for a while to join a movement more aligned with me. I joined Temple Sinai despite it being Reform, not because of it, but our leaders seem to be more interested in the future of Reform Judaism here than in the future of Temple Sinai. My long-time rabbi retired a few years ago, recent trends have been leftward, and I think I've stayed only for my friends (a pattern in my life, I know). I don't want to lose those friendships, but it's time to go make some new friends too.